January 27, 2010 (QOL) I never saw a deadly and long terrified eyes and faces--so great, UNDER a repeating choruses that never ashamed its-self, even those with wincing bodies and tearful eyes never saw who is in charge and to whom that these facts are entitled. the sharp pains as I felt and saw created a sort of mingled anger, scorn, or feeling of injured innocence. her eyes, the eyes of  Miss. Luul can easily be read, the stigma and discrimination, associated with past unhealed conflict-related mental disorders, invincible over-powering survival resources, would, if you guess  tell you concurrently a story of hope and despair together.

She asked, "instead of mitigating that grief and psychological trauma among those Female, a surviving family members" she quotes. "Should more systematic humiliations, beatings, bias cure their state of desperateness" she added; and without requesting an attention she continued, climbed tall and high mountains of pain;   until I have integrated her thinking.

"They telephoned us" she uttered, soon she arranged two main obstacles; one her kids would not be fed that day, becouse "House-left-overs" which she feeds her kids Two: she is absent  of her household Maid job, which was for her living and her kid's living source. So she starts her journey to the Social and Health Centers. worse for borrowed transportation Cost; GO and BACK. I went with her, we arrived, we handed our Refugee ID to tiny security-motivated window. "Wait Lady unless you are Called" said by very strong voice. We looked for around some shady area to escape from the sun. Others preferred to stay under the sun. Couple of hours later, as others I have articulated that we have been left outside to care of ourselves; nevertheless without acknowledging me I learned who were inside? you may be sure that their dress, presumed offices, inside and behind that wall and concrete doors, were strange and wonderful.

Surrounded by Red-Eyed uniformed Dogs , sorry Men. the outside standing mom's, girls, kids, looked like as were they told to queue a self-imposed line,  like a military parade is taking place, their eyes where forecasting  a troubled dream. Such a scene as that, only a very strange power could have caused such a feelings. no untreatable word.....no chooses were offered. one of the stand still Mom's was seem to be busy for her cell phone, ringing fluently.....she looks to have bothered in this God-Waiting wishes far away from her practical life. every time she walks away to answer her cell phone I observed, she tries to face the music there, following  through out wave lines.  

"Before Yesterday I was here no result" she proclaimed, despising me as if this is her god-sent fate that nobody whose shape is as that can improve, or at least can complain. Eventually, and suddenly we all surprised how she was imitating to have such a brave heart, actually not inherited but a heart that was frayed by the Triangle of Despair and Hope.

Self-imprisoned kids, behind the closed doors, for her Day-After Housework that has been play truanted for Four consequent Days. its for Hand-to-Mouth, And Here?  She murmured... Counting chickens without eggs is now her problem, She says, She was busy in Here.. Here. Another day is similar to Doomsday. The Last of the Three, she recalled is the best, " Becouse Coming here, and the  moment of escapism it fathers", I created, "so its your Heaven as per  the other two"  I renewed that fact.  

"Heaven She jumped...say Hell...Hellish", Said, her   screamed,  Looking at me on a suspicion of  irresponsibility.  What I want is to enquire how the hell we have been imprisoned here from 9:00 AM up to 4:35 PM"  she said seemed to be impressed by me.   She afforded to have knocked the Door "tell us what? to do?" scared eyes were untreatable, and continued  "We have another Fishes to Fry" she Separated both, "you were called  as if was said", " for leisure time Picnic". I added behind her, pushing her deep in to the trouble!. Every body that was before and after the door seems now deeply to feel that this lady should not have been allowed to knock the door and request an enquiry. Some analyzed as  a dead women prepared for the grave, others were quick to grasp the chance, forwarding a huge negative accumulation that was temporary stored in the heart; a sick heart that its inside something very strange was taking place.. To Revenge, not others but the Revenge its self?.  Who Dares? Somebody who was behind the closed doors shouted "BEAT HER ON THE HEAD..CATCH HER..SO THAT WE MIGHT REASSURE THEM TO GO..?".  her story ends there and starts again...

I know, they are compelled to that fate...as its, "Do you see" Mr. Pen Man, you see your eyes. Exploiting her bloody head injury.... "You would be regretted to be served by a human being who think towards you as a tool" she said now without fearing. I have said to her, don't forget the Somali Proverb which says Adin Waa La dhibaa, Ilna Waa L dhowraa" Means "Foots are Dragged, but Eyes are Protected ".  I scolded.  "So you said, as I was expecting" Miss Luul retorted continuing her unmonitored accusations, "Small and Treatable Diseases cant be Treated. No a Hungry Stomach can be even half-filled or an Angry House lord can be calmed Down by those.. Here..." She ransacked "its Here....." she said pointing her faint finger towards a close building.

Her Bloody Stained Head; had been covered by something, also I have recommended strongly to know that as the Somali Proverb says "Balaayo Madax Laqabtey Leedahaye Mijo La Qabto Ma leh" which means  "Trouble can be contained through out the Head and not Hands". so let us get out Here" fortunately she accepted to be taken far location from the Door.

My turn I unconsciously promised that I would make them pay for that....."How can we revenge?" I my self went on proceeding. "Don't suppose that I spoke of this to anyone". I said glancing around my sides. "But I would make them pay." I repeated, prejudging my self as such a man who would move a mountain of human beings..."Yes. But I must act with the greatest care" I calmed my heart, to suppress my fears.  

"Usually a wrong Can not be made right in that manner,, unless they knew they were paying and knew who is forcing them to pay..." I concluded. After a while I realized that, to Judge what is said by all sides, and conclude what I saw my Eyes is what is waiting me to complete. "what the hell they did"  I asked a man seem  to me, a very proud and arrogant.. "are they world threat to you" I teased looking down because the illuminating Redness Color that was Beaming  from his eyes.

"Undisciplined women" he exclaimed; that is all! Nothing more was said against her.

But this was only what we call coincidence----I though, two things happening at same time, but only by chance and because not some cause that brought them together.. I quickly and easily grasped unbiased answer. Because he knew also that.. O.K let say biased I countered.. let say  one incident, and only one has marked that motivations, how about repeating that same film! That already is paved by Bloody Events, Sorrowful Stages of Misunderstanding, Slander Character, and Fabricated Arguments. So the Frustration follows. Until every one is scared or expected to be beaten simply, or until others believed the senseless accusations However, all Refugees Do NOT know What rules were broken and How?.

The sole Mediator, Our Step-Mother, who's Husband also is one of our respectable Step-Fathers, have intervened and quickly jumped to conclusions? and saw the events same eyes,  Because if you look at something very closely you can see few Things more closely (the things that was fabricated by the step-brothers as  indiscipline?)..However the complete shape of whole Picture Escapes...I Enquired. 

not to believe Our Step-Mother sent, one of her adapted gals who on her turn adopted weeping Strategy  when she see her eyes wide upon the grievous bodily harm made against these Moms and when she disappears says same as the indiscipline argumentativeness?! here we end the investigation...that ends here and again starts... 

My turn the immediate Short Term problem is HOW TO SERVE?  The People are two (1) Service Provider (2): Beneficiaries

(1): beautiful buildings, gainful salaries, Air-Conditioned Apartments and etc, are only allotted to serve the beneficiary's of Number TWO. in the most possible human way.

That is all if some thing is left , feel free to say to me..

    
Sadat Mohammed Geesh is a Refugee Rights-Based Activists in Yemen and a Freelance Writer

He can be reached at Drgeesh@gmail.com